Losing Sleep
My wife always makes me lock all the doors and windows at night, for fear that someone will break in and rape her. That's not so bad, but on occasion she'll wake me up at 1:00 a.m. and ask what that sound was and if everything's locked. And if I'm not on the top of my game, I'll tell her I don't remember and then I'm heading downstairs in my shorts with a plastic ninja sword. The kicker is that no one's going to touch her once they see her, um, eveningwear and no makeup. What do I do to stop the vicious cycle?You could tell her she's not rape-worthy. That would end one vicious cycle, but might start another. I would give her my
Top 5 Things Worth Losing Sleep Over (in no particular order):
1. Someone breaking into the house and stealing the big screen TV.
2. Someone breaking into the house and stealing the refridgerator (including all the milk).
3. Wondering if you remembered to shut the car windows now that it's thunderstorming.
4. Wondering if your Christmas Tree lights are going to cause your house to go up in flames.
5. Wondering if the peeps from What Not To Wear are going to show up at work tomorrow.
posted by Lawrence A. Fing @ 12:00 PM
2 Comments:
I don't think your wife should see this .... my husband would be sleeping on the couch ... hey it is safer for me if he sleeps on the couch. That way he can catch the bad guy as he breaks in the door.
My Lady Medusa would be doing the raping if she found I had called her unrapeworthy.
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