Doubly Redundant

I hate my wife. Actually, I just hate almost everything she does. One thing that she does that annoys the hell out of me is when she dissects my sentences while I'm trying to make my point during an argument. Example:
Her: "Well, you've done it again. You've embarrassed me in front of my friends. I'm so glad I married you -- You're a real catch. What was I, on drugs?"
Me: "You started attacking me right when we got there. You're like 'Your husband does that, too? And does he wear his LeBron James jersey to church, too?' You neglected to mention that I wore it UNDER my shirt for good luck."
Her: "Well, I really doubt that I ended two sentences in a row with the word 'too'. Plus, I was just making conversation. Something you could try once in a while."
Me: "How can I when you paint me as some dufus without any clue about anything?"
Her: "That's redundant. Actually, doubly redundant ... if that's even possible."

If she annoys the hell out of you, isn't that a good thing? After all, isn't hell bad? So aren't you saying that she gets rid of all of the bad things within you, building character and making you a better person? Plus, isn't it funny that the word 'dissect' has two 'S's instead of one? I wonder why that is...

posted by Lawrence A. Fing @ 12:00 PM