Mixed Signals
I've had it with the zodiac. I just read mine for today:
Mixed signals are coming your way from someone at work or school, and that could signal a period of pretty intense ambiguity. You can deal with it, of course, but clarity won't come for quite a while yet.
That makes no sense, since I'm a homeless man. That got me thinking, though... How can 8.33% of the world can share the same horoscope? (I said I was homeless, not uneducated.) I'm also questioning why, since I'm looking for clarity in my life, would I buy into something telling me that clarity is a long way off?
I don't know a lot about astrology or horoscopes, but I do know they will never steer you wrong. For instance, I know for sure that I'm a Pisces, not because of my birth date, but because I love to eat fish -- any kind of fish (except that poisonous kind). I also know that there's a 50% chance that I will be a Cancer someday. Statistics don't lie, folks. I may not die from it, but my dad did, so the likelihood is high. Something else I know: Those personality profiles are a bunch of bunk, and a way to part you from your money. All you need to know is the geocentric positioning of the stars on the day you were born, not whether you're an introvert, an extrovert, or a pervert.
So shame on you for questioning your God-given destiny. I don't care if you're a Sagittarius, a Gemini, or a Capricola -- be proud and stand tall! And as a special bonus, here's a timely reading for Virgo dogs (of which I have 2):
You know what they say about bigger dogs: if you give them a shred of sinew they'll take the whole bone. Don't share your resources today because you may end up parting with more than you bargained for.
Think about it.
posted by Lawrence A. Fing @ 12:00 PM
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