Facebook Craze

I like to consider myself a modern man. I have VOIP, I just bought a car with heated windshield wiper fluid, and I'm totally converted to halogen light bulbs throughout the house. But there's one cultural phenomenon that I haven't quite figured out yet: Facebook. Oh, I'm part of the facebook community -- don't worry about that. I'm not a totally worthless member of society. It's just that the drama is becoming more than I can handle.

I update my facebook page about once a week or less -- basically, when something interesting happens. I don't update it when I have trouble finding black socks or when I put gas in the car. I choose my friends carefully and I don't want to bore them with the mundane moments in my life. And speaking of friends, guess what? I don't acknowledge most people who ask me to be their friend. In fact, if there was a "Reject" button, I would choose that in most cases. As it is, I have to ignore their pleas for friendship, which is inefficient. Why can't there be an "acquaintance" option? And no, I'm not going out to Yo-ville to collect more friends. I don't need more friends. And I certainly don't want a bunch of friends dressed up as yogurt or whatever goes on out there.

Which brings me to my wife. She has really jumped into the facebook craze with both feet, posting photo albums and widgets and songs and sending stickers and blogging about how her new toothpaste isn't as good as the toothpaste she had before. That's all super, but don't expect me to be your friend if you're going to be that way. And yet, she does! She's giving me a hard time because I won't be her friend in facebook. Can you tell her that I live with her and I'm her friend in real life, so can we just leave my facebook persona out of it? Seriously.

Thank you for writing on my wall. Right now, I am thinking about how I can answer without sounding like I'm siding with this guy's wife. And right now, I am considering changing my smiley from a :^) to a :-). Lawrence is now a fan of Charlie The Unicorn.

posted by Lawrence A. Fing @ 12:00 PM